Maybe I'm too far removed at this point...

I was a Christian for many years...one of those totally sold out, radical, freaks for Jesus kind of Christians. And yet, I've noticed lately that I have a very difficult time relating to many Christians.

I've recently had a couple of discussions with some Christians I don't know directly, and in both conversations, the only evidence they provided to support their argument was what the Bible said.

It wasn't even so much that they were using the Bible in their defense. It was that it was the only thing they were using in their defense. And not only that, but that they believed that was sufficient. In one conversation, I was questioning a specific moral value that many Christians hold that I believe is immoral. I brought up many good points and asked several questions, evaluating that particular moral value. They did not feel the need to even address my points or answer my questions at all. The Bible said A was wrong, thus, A was wrong...period.

It seems that there is a mentality that God, in whatever way a Christian sees him, is above our evaluation. That what he says goes, no questions asked. And even if what he says seems bad, it still means he is good and perfect.

One guy kept repeatedly referring to everyone that does not believe in the Bible as atheists. He finally answered my point that there are other options besides Christianity and atheism. He said that to him, there was not. There was "for Christ" and "against Christ." And any religion or idealism that was "against Christ," was exactly the same.

I have a hard time wrapping my head around this. And yet, I know I once believed the same way. I can't imagine just believing everything a book says without evaluating it first to see if it even sits right with my own moral values. I can't imagine considering a moral issue without stopping to think about it thoroughly from many different angles before making a decision about it. I am seeing that for years, I was denying myself access to my own internal moral compass...which, by the way, seems far more advanced than that of the primitive people that wrote the Bible. I am so glad I have learned to have some faith in myself and my ability to be a good person.

I have been considering through this...I believe I am a more moral person since I left Christianity. People have questioned if people can be good without God or have claimed that religion pushes people to be more moral. I have found that for me, it made me less moral. It lead me to do, say, and believe some things that I now believe are not only not right, but actually outright morally wrong. This makes me wonder if religion does benefit people, morally speaking.

Because if morals come from religion, how did the morals get instituted into religion in the first place? At some point, someone had to start the religion...what source was there besides their own moral understanding to infuse the religion with? And does it really benefit people to just accept the moral understanding of that person and to refuse to question any of it? What if that person's moral understanding is incorrect on some issues? How would we ever improve if we lock ourselves into one kind of understanding and refuse to consider other possibilities?

Perhaps religion does not make people more moral. Perhaps it actually holds a society back from moral progression.